HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
