____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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