What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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