I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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