My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
