this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
