Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
