I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
