so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
