Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
