maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
