Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
