New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
