Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
