STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
