Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
