Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
