she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
