ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This house was built for laser tag.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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