do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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