literally had 100 drinks last night.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My pussy is not your playground.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
