Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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