I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
