I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
