That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
