no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
