ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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