Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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