Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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