i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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