i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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