'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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