So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the condom got lost in my hair
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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