I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did I show you my penis last night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
