Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
