At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
