He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
