need another drink. this is the easiest way
Swine flu. Run for my life!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
not ubering you a puppy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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