I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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