I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
