I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
