I will die if light touches me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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