24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
