her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
