if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
