we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
