Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
