no, he came in my armpit
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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