Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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