i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
